It’s something that is bound to happen regardless of whether you like it or not. People are going to find you and they are going to send you a friend request. I am sure everyone could probably attest to receiving a rather awkward friend request that puts them in a “Do I accept?” dilemma. And when I say awkward, I mean that the friend request is from someone you already know, your only problem is whether or not you want to allow that person in your space. This list includes parents, teachers, neighbors, co-workers, schoolmates, exes, stalkers etc.

If you thought that was traumatic, wait till you get a friend request from someone you hardly even know. Ever scratch your head and ask yourself as you look at that friend request “Where do I know you from again?”. Believe it or not, it happens and by various accounts that I have seen, it is not only awkward, some people are just plain irritated by it. When did it suddenly become appropriate to send a friend request to someone who barely knows you?

For quite some time now, I tend to get way more friend requests than I send out. Out of the couple I get a day or a week, I wouldn’t be surprised if none of them was sent with a personal note indicating how I know the person or why they wanted to be friends. So apparently it’s becoming more and more acceptable to send friend requests without an introduction. Disagree? Am thinking that there are two schools of thought on this one.  I describe them below.

If you are like the greater majority of Facebook users that use it to connect with old friends and schoolmates etc, then you have every reason to be worried. You should be worried because either the person that sent you the request sure think they know you or you have a really terrible memory. I’ll be the first one to admit that sometimes am not very good with names.

And then you might be the Facebook user that uses it for networking. Networking can be defined as making connections with someone you don’t already know and benefitting each other. Surprisingly enough, it would then appear that with this school of thought,  it would be more acceptable to receive or for that matter send out a friend request without an introduction.

The first school of thought would definitely demand that you provide a brief introduction of how you know each other. Granted, the person may assume you both remember each other but to err on the side or caution, it’s best not to assume the person remembers you, but rather introduce yourself one more time. One thing that greatly helps is the “Mutual Friends” feature. You can quickly scan your common friends and conclude since you both know the same 20 friends from high school, you must have gone to high school together as well. A definite no no is a friend request with no introduction, no friends in common and no indication of how the both of you know each other.

On the networking side of the fence, you can’t  always expect to know everyone that friends you. This is especially true if you are some celebrity of sorts. Those seeking to be your friend are most likely your fans. If on the other hand you are involved in some form of online work, the people friending you might either be in the same field as you or in a field that complements yours. I have received one such request where we shared 800 friends in common. Now you think to yourself, “Surely, 800 people can’t be wrong, right?” But does that still excuse skipping an introduction?

You may have connected with the person on another social networking platform. I’ve used introductions as simple as “Your Twitter Friend”. There was another person whose book I had read before I even knew they were on Facebook, and I made sure to mentioned that in the introduction. Other kinds of introductions would be include telling them of a teleseminar they presented, a comment they made on a mutal friend’s wall etc

The notion seems to be that even the slightest of introductions goes a long way towards getting your relationship off on the right foot. And be honest in your introductions. I think there are tale tell signs of a cut copy & paste job. Personalize – make the person feel as though you are addressing them and that the message is not just a generic one. Now go out there and make friends, will you?